Do you ever wonder or second guess yourself? Am I strong enough, pretty enough, smart enough? I find myself second guessing my actions as a wife and mother far too often. The roles I should be the most proficient in are the very ones I question.
Confirmation of my success in these roles ought to come like the pats on the back I get from work---my annual certificate of a job well done or my quarterly "you far exceeded this expectation but need a little more work in this area". Maybe that's why I have the Cinderella syndrome? Mirror mirror on the wall whose the best mommy and wife of them all? I need one of those little toys that cheer for you---you know what I'm talking about? the ones where you push the button and there's a collective "yay" that resounds.
I really am not trying to be better than anyone else when it comes to being a wife and mother. I am merely trying to find my stride, know that I haven't scarred my child for life or secretly humiliated my husband. Maybe I am feeling like the wicked witch because I am overloaded, my house is a wreck, laundry is sky high, I haven't showered all day (did I mention the dirty laundry=no clean towels), I have eaten crap all day and did nothing that resembled achievement.
I stated earlier that I had the Cinderella syndrome but it is, in deed, the wicked witch syndrome. Cinderella didn't doubt her beauty, successes, strength or wisdom. On the contrary, it was that crazy witch who needed the confirmation of worth. That crazy lady is the one who stood in that dumb mirror every day talking to that equally crazy man. Someone needed to tell that witch, no, you do not have your stuff together, you are NOT the fairest of them all, you are who you are and that's okay. Maybe then she could have stepped away from that mirror in acceptance. I am that crazy lady, today, I don't have it all together, I have doubted my strength, beauty, and actions and that's quite alright. I guess I will be Crazy Lady today....Cinderella tomorrow (well, hopefully she will make an appearance tomorrow).
Be good to yourself and a blessing to others
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