Do you ever wonder or second guess yourself? Am I strong enough, pretty enough, smart enough? I find myself second guessing my actions as a wife and mother far too often. The roles I should be the most proficient in are the very ones I question.
Confirmation of my success in these roles ought to come like the pats on the back I get from work---my annual certificate of a job well done or my quarterly "you far exceeded this expectation but need a little more work in this area". Maybe that's why I have the Cinderella syndrome? Mirror mirror on the wall whose the best mommy and wife of them all? I need one of those little toys that cheer for you---you know what I'm talking about? the ones where you push the button and there's a collective "yay" that resounds.
I really am not trying to be better than anyone else when it comes to being a wife and mother. I am merely trying to find my stride, know that I haven't scarred my child for life or secretly humiliated my husband. Maybe I am feeling like the wicked witch because I am overloaded, my house is a wreck, laundry is sky high, I haven't showered all day (did I mention the dirty laundry=no clean towels), I have eaten crap all day and did nothing that resembled achievement.
I stated earlier that I had the Cinderella syndrome but it is, in deed, the wicked witch syndrome. Cinderella didn't doubt her beauty, successes, strength or wisdom. On the contrary, it was that crazy witch who needed the confirmation of worth. That crazy lady is the one who stood in that dumb mirror every day talking to that equally crazy man. Someone needed to tell that witch, no, you do not have your stuff together, you are NOT the fairest of them all, you are who you are and that's okay. Maybe then she could have stepped away from that mirror in acceptance. I am that crazy lady, today, I don't have it all together, I have doubted my strength, beauty, and actions and that's quite alright. I guess I will be Crazy Lady today....Cinderella tomorrow (well, hopefully she will make an appearance tomorrow).
Be good to yourself and a blessing to others
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Mighty Twins...ACTIVATE!
Although I do not have twins I do have a 3 and 5 year old (boy and girl) that operate as the activated mighty twins. They are definitely the help me Jesus in everyone of my posts.
My little guy is more like momma---laid back, social, people person, my Princess, although she has my sensitive heart, is her father, thru and thru. That's not a bad thing, just different.
They are both string willed. Actually, she gives whole new meaning to strong willed---she is on the verge of expulsion from pre-K.
I received a call yesterday that went like this....Debra, the kids are good but do you have about 5 minutes ...Ok, I'm here to tell you "do you have about 5 minutes" is never an intro to a happy conversation. I am sure the actual conference will have it's own dedicated blog time. Until then I will move on.
As a 42 year old momma I am TIRED. Do you all hear what I am sayin?! My sisters, all of whom are older than me and my mother, all had babies in their 20's. No, not me, the good Lord decided that he was going to bless me with 3 boys (ages 5,6, and 9) when I married my husband (at age 30) and bring me my final two blessings when I was 38 and 40. I must say that the challenging times of being a step mother and helping to raise 3 boys was SO incredibly different than being a 24/7-can't-send-them-away-give-them-back-kind-of momma. When the boys were little, they shared time between their momma's house and our house, sometimes they lived with us full time and sometimes they didn't. It worked, for the most part. They are now 22, 20 and 19 well adjusted young Marines. OORAH!
I try to blog while I am on my phone so that I can keep an eye on the Mighty Twins, but my phone died and I wanted to finish this. So now they are unattended and in a totally separate part of the house--this is NOT good, and I know this, yet I continue to sit here and type. I figure, as long as I can hear their little voices and they are not whispering, then I am in, somewhat, good shape. It's the silence that sets off the inner mommy alarm that makes you jump up and shout profanities (either internally or audibly). Ok, folks, I hear water and laughter, that is a sign that I have to go....MIGHTY TWINS activate, in the form of ....hopefully they are going for track stars because they better run when I get down there.
Be good to yourself and always a blessing to others.
My little guy is more like momma---laid back, social, people person, my Princess, although she has my sensitive heart, is her father, thru and thru. That's not a bad thing, just different.
They are both string willed. Actually, she gives whole new meaning to strong willed---she is on the verge of expulsion from pre-K.
I received a call yesterday that went like this....Debra, the kids are good but do you have about 5 minutes ...Ok, I'm here to tell you "do you have about 5 minutes" is never an intro to a happy conversation. I am sure the actual conference will have it's own dedicated blog time. Until then I will move on.
As a 42 year old momma I am TIRED. Do you all hear what I am sayin?! My sisters, all of whom are older than me and my mother, all had babies in their 20's. No, not me, the good Lord decided that he was going to bless me with 3 boys (ages 5,6, and 9) when I married my husband (at age 30) and bring me my final two blessings when I was 38 and 40. I must say that the challenging times of being a step mother and helping to raise 3 boys was SO incredibly different than being a 24/7-can't-send-them-away-give-them-back-kind-of momma. When the boys were little, they shared time between their momma's house and our house, sometimes they lived with us full time and sometimes they didn't. It worked, for the most part. They are now 22, 20 and 19 well adjusted young Marines. OORAH!
I try to blog while I am on my phone so that I can keep an eye on the Mighty Twins, but my phone died and I wanted to finish this. So now they are unattended and in a totally separate part of the house--this is NOT good, and I know this, yet I continue to sit here and type. I figure, as long as I can hear their little voices and they are not whispering, then I am in, somewhat, good shape. It's the silence that sets off the inner mommy alarm that makes you jump up and shout profanities (either internally or audibly). Ok, folks, I hear water and laughter, that is a sign that I have to go....MIGHTY TWINS activate, in the form of ....hopefully they are going for track stars because they better run when I get down there.
Be good to yourself and always a blessing to others.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Allow me to introduce myself
Hello my name is...my name is...my name is...ha ha ... .I couldn't resist. My name is Debra and I thought it would be both a hoot and therapeutic for me to create a blog and share some life journeys with whomever cares to read this page.
I am a 42 yr old mother of 5 (three grown step sons and 2 babies---well a 5 yr old and 3 yr old). I know what you're thinkin---what the H E double hockey sticks was she thinkin? 42 and babies. Yep, love em but hoowee! That's where the Jesus help me part comes in.
At any rate, I work a fulltime job, married and every day want to punch those women in their throats for burnin their bras and demanding to be in the workforce. Raising babies, being a wife, trying to be domestic AND work 40+ hours a week for "the man"---ok that's another help me Jesus moment. Heck, I could have called this blog "help me Jesus" and been done with it.
At any rate, I am looking forward to the laughs, the tears and the journey that I am about to trek.
Be good to yourself and a blessing to others.
I am a 42 yr old mother of 5 (three grown step sons and 2 babies---well a 5 yr old and 3 yr old). I know what you're thinkin---what the H E double hockey sticks was she thinkin? 42 and babies. Yep, love em but hoowee! That's where the Jesus help me part comes in.
At any rate, I work a fulltime job, married and every day want to punch those women in their throats for burnin their bras and demanding to be in the workforce. Raising babies, being a wife, trying to be domestic AND work 40+ hours a week for "the man"---ok that's another help me Jesus moment. Heck, I could have called this blog "help me Jesus" and been done with it.
At any rate, I am looking forward to the laughs, the tears and the journey that I am about to trek.
Be good to yourself and a blessing to others.
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